


Panahedan

by SRMW



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, I'm new to this, i am trash, im so sorry, will add tags as I post more
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4498599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRMW/pseuds/SRMW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rai has been shoved into the title of the Herald of Andraste and is now building up an army to close the breach and bring down the hand behind the chaos. She needs to rally up those willing to fight for the cause but a certain Qunari that she ends up hiring brings back demons of her past. Together, they fight against demons, raiders, dragons and Corypheus and become close friends as she falls for the Mercenary captain that not only fights demons beside her but helps fight the demons inside her.</p><p>Follows canon plot with lots of in between chapters of fluff and terribly written smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Learning to Trust

**Author's Note:**

> Eep. Hi there! Wow, for me to actually be writing something that doesn't have anything to do with Sonic is so strange and a little scary. I've only recently gotten back into writing so I'm still getting back into the swing of things and I'm sure my style will improve as I go on with this story.
> 
> I really just started writing this for my own amusement but I thought I'd share it here too. I hope you enjoy it and that my writing isn't too rusty/crummy to read.
> 
> I chose to use the 'Take refuge in Safety' meaning for Panahedan in this context~
> 
> Follow me on tumblr if you'd like to see my dumb art and other stuff: http://sonadowroxmyworld.tumblr.com/

Lady Rai Trevelyan of Ostwick.

Lady, _as if._

Rai looked down at herself, covered in the blood and guts of some Tevinter bastards who had decided to spoil her arranged meeting with an apparent mercenary captain. Or chief, as Lieutenant Cremisius Aclassi, who relayed the message to her called him.

Iron bull.

Cremisius said he was a Qunari. Giant horned beasts that she had learnt to fear. She would be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t a little petrified.  
Rai huffed in a mix of exhaustion and relief, placing her two daggers back in their clasps on her back. At least that was over with.  
Rai turned to face the giant of a man approaching her. She ran her hand through her seawater and blood soaked obsidian coloured hair, dammit, she was petrified.

“Inquisitor, am I right?” he sat himself down on an old tree stump, the sound of a popping knee drowning in the sound of the crashing waves. “Take a seat, drinks are on the way.”

The young lieutenant returned, “Throat cutters are all done chief”

“Already? Have them check again. I don’t want any Tevinter bastards getting away. No offense, Krem.”

“None taken, Chief. At least a bastard knows who his mother was. Puts them one up on you Qunari, ‘my right.”

“And brake open the caskets once they’re done.” He commanded, gruff and blunt.

“I, take it you’re Iron Bull?” she asked, a little uneasy and shaky as she sat down on a boulder opposite him.

“Yip, mercenary captain of the Bull’s Chargers. We’re expensive but we’re worth it.” He leaned forward, placing a hand on his knee.

“And exactly how much is this going to cost me?” Rai crossed her legs, lacing her fingers together over her knee.

“You don’t have to worry about the gold just yet, all you need to know is we’re worth it.” He straightened his back, “You need a someone on the front lines, a body guard: dragons, demons, giants, the bigger the better.”

Rai swallowed hard. Her lazurite coloured eyes examining the beast in front of her: he was covered in scars, his horns were unlike the other Qunari’s she had seen in that they branched straight out and upward, not the usual curl and kink like many others had. But the eye patch he wore made her curious.  
She hummed softly, considering the offer. The sound of crashing waves and rain helping to calm her unease at the thought of recruiting a Qunari.

“Alright, Iron Bull. The Inquisition would be grateful for your help.” She felt her gut twist in all the wrong ways as she rasped out the words as best as she could without seeming sarcastic.

“Great!” The Bull laughed, guttural and horse. “Krem!” he called, “finish up with the throat cutters, the Chargers just got hired.”

“But chief, we just finished breaking open the caskets,” replied the commander from across the shore, “with axes!”

Rai looked back at her new recruit. He was smiling smugly back to his commander before he noticed another pair of eyes on him. Her eyes.  
Quickly she averted her gaze to the far shore that they would be travelling to set up camp for the night. Maker, she didn’t know what to do with herself.  
She was petrified beyond reason of the Qunari and yet here she stood, accepting an offer from one.

Maker’s _balls_. What had she gotten herself into?

“Boss, there’s something I want you to know.” Bull walked up from behind her to stand at her side. He towered over her, albeit she wasn’t short, she felt like a dwarf next to him.

“Ever heard of the Ben-Hassrath?”

Rai swallowed hard, “Y-yes,” her voice faltering, “They’re Qunari spies, right?”

The horned warrior raised a brow at her sudden nervousness. “Yeah, some are. Well, I need to tell you something, it may piss you off but I am a Ben-Hassrath spy.”

She crossed her arms, leaning forward in shock, “and you’re telling me this, why?”

“Well, you’re the inquisition,” he cleared his throat, “you would find out sooner or later and I’d prefer you heard it from me first.” The warrior leaned his weight onto his left leg, looking at the fair-skinned girl that stood in front of him, her eyes still wide from surprise.

Rai coughed, “and what does this get the inquisition?”

“Reports. Ben-Hassrath reports. I send them reports on the situations we deal with and in turn you’ll get their reports.”  
The warrior side stepped out of the Herald’s way as she began walking in the direction of the next camp they needed to set up before sunset.  
“What? No comment?” Bull jogged to her side, throwing his hands in front of him with his palms facing upwards. “You’re not pissed off? Not even a snarky comment?”

The rogue glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “No.” she bluntly hissed, walking to the side so that Solas and Varric now were between her and the Qunari. 

_‘Stay away from him. He’s a Qunari. He’s a bloody spy which just makes this whole thing worse.’_

She rubbed her forearms, trying to shrug off the twisting in her gut and the screaming of her mind: yelling about how this was madness.  
_‘I accepted him because it’s for the Inquisition’s best interests.’_  
\----

Orange faded into the blue skies by the time they had reached the camp up on the rocks and between trees. 

“Shall we set up camp?” Solas inquired, leaning his staff against a tree.

Rai rolled out the bed rolls around where they’d set the fire up. It would take a day for the base camp to bring the tents to their location.  
She knelt down, picking up small grey pebbles and placing them in a circle on the ground in the centre of the bed rolls.

“Need some help?” Varric stood next to her with fire wood piled in his arms. “These were the driest I could find.” The dwarf remarked, dumping the wood next to her.  
She smiled up at him, picking up a splintered log, “thanks, Varric, but I’ll manage. “

“Okay, if you say so. I’ll take Chuckles and Tiny and go try and find some food for us.” 

“Tiny?” she mused quietly, “Oh, Iron Bull.” She smiled at the odd nickname.  
\----- 

The fire had been built up and set alight, thanks to Solas, by the time Varric and Bull had come back with a ram.  
The elf had declined to helping with the hunt and chose to stay at the camp with Rai, lending her a helping hand with setting up the camp and to aid protection if need be.  
The ram’s corpse was slung over Bull’s shoulders, its head lolling down his back.

“Food’s here.” The warrior beamed, all too happy with the hunt’s pay off. The corpse was casually dropped outside the circle of beds. Rai strolled over to her bedroll to pick up one of her daggers before swiftly moving to the ram to begin carving.

Messy. 

That was one of many words she could choose to describe it.  
With a decent sized fillets and steaks carved out she returned to the fire to place it in the pot, along with the various vegetables and herbs Solas had generously thrown in.

Her three companions sat around the fire, exchanging tales and secrets, but most of the conversation was questions directed towards The Iron Bull.  
Varric asked questions about the Ben-Hassrath while Solas asked accusing questions regarding the Qun.  
Rai cursed when she realised Iron Bull had sat himself next to her bedroll. She didn’t want to be near him, he made her nervous. He made her stomach twist in all the wrong ways because he was Qunari.  
Hesitantly she sat herself down next to him, pulling her arms close to her.  
The rogue kept her eyes fixed on the fire in front of her, but she could feel his eyes burn holes into the back of her skull. She could feel him watching her, analysing her.  
\------

She ate fast, scoffing the meal down as fast as she could without choking.  
“I’ll take first night guard duty.” She blurted out after she’d set her plate down.

Varric and Solas nodded and readied themselves for some well-earned rest. Iron Bull however arched a brow before nodding.  
She knew why she wanted to go first. She didn’t want to sleep so close to the warrior. She couldn’t sleep even if she tried.  
Her companions lay down as she walked over to the edge of the rock cliff they’d set up camp on top of.  
\-----

The moon was high in the heavens when she heard the grass next to her rustle from moving feet.

“Hey, boss.” Bull’s gruff voice whispered as he sat next to her, pulling one leg up to his chest to lean his arm on.

“Bull.” She answered bluntly. 

Silence settled for a moment before Bull’s gruff voice broke it.  
“What’s your problem with me? You have a problem, I can see it.” He sighed, glancing at her.

Rai bit her lip, “N-no, Bull. I don’t, honestly, I don’t—“she stammered, her eyes avoiding contact with his. 

“I didn’t go through years of Ben-Hassrath training for you to attempt to try lie to sway me. You have a problem with me. I can see how nervous you are around me, you look as if you want to shrink into yourself whenever I get close to you.” Bull let out a frustrated sigh when he saw her wince at the sound of his voice getting harsh. “Is it something I did or said?” he spoke softly, a gentleness in his voice now, “is it because I told you I’m a spy for the Ben-Hassrath?”

“No, it’s nothing like that.” She twisted her hands together, pulling her knees to her chest, leaning her head on them.

“Then what is it?” he pressed, “Because whatever it is, it’s eating away at you.”  
The rogue lifted her head from her knees to cast a glance at the Qunari who sat next to her with his eyes fixated on her.

_‘Yeah, that’s how it feels.’_

“I—“words choked her, she didn’t want to tell him. 

“Boss, what’s up? You can tell me. If I did anything to make you uncomfortable, please tell me.” 

“I don’t,” she untangled her hands from each other, gazing into her palms as if they held the words she wanted to confess. “Bull, I don’t want to talk about it please.” She shut her eyes tightly, willing away tears she hadn’t noticed that wanted to leak out.

Bull noted her distress and decided to change the subject. “Hey, you want to take a walk and check the perimeter?”  
She peered to her side, noticing that Bull had already stood up and was holding a hand out to her. With a shaking hand, she grasped his and he helped pull her weight up.

“S-sure.” Unease was thick in her voice as she quickly let go of his hand and walked next to him down the stone steps leading to the shore.

There was no talking on the way down to the shore. Rai clutched her arms, squeezing them to her body while Bull walked next to her, glancing at her ever so often.  
They stopped at the edge of the water. The sea spray making her pale skin sticky with residue.  
The sound of a cork popping made her head jerk up and her eyes focused on the sea-green glass bottle Bull popped the cork off of, taking a swig of maker-knows-what was in there before handing it to her.

“Take a sip.” He swirled the bottle at her, the contents swishing around, urging her to take it.

“I—don’t really drink, Iron Bull.” Rai put her hands up in defence, smiling sheepishly.

“Just a sip, that’s all.” He continued to push.

_‘What’s the worst that could happen? He somehow managed to lace it with something? But he’s already had a sip, he wouldn’t drink something he knows is laced. Unless he’s used something that doesn’t affect Qunari and—‘_

She felt her hand grasp the cold glass bottle and hold it under her nose to inhale.  
“ _Eugh!_ ” she gasped, holding the bottle away from her, “Adraste’s tits! That smells horrible!” Coughing she tried to hand the bottle back.

“It tastes better than what it smells. Trust me.” He laughed, her reaction proving more than amusing to him. “Just a sip.” He encouraged her again.  
With an annoyed huff, the rogue took a small sip from the foul-smelling alcohol. Warmth travelled down her throat and burned her stomach.  
Coughing to try extinguish the ever-growing fire that had ignited in her throat she placed the bottle back in the horned warrior’s hand. Her hand briefly touching the two stubbed fingers of his left hand.

“That-“Rai cleared her throat, blinking tears away, “that tasted better than what I had expected.”  
She stood up straight again when she noticed she was hunched over slightly.

Bull laughed out loud, a hand on his stomach, “I know right!” he placed the cork back in the bottle and stashing it in the pocket of his ridiculous looking circus pants. “Shit smells like burning shit but tastes like honey and embrium.”

The rogue looked up at him, flashing a smile at the description of his.  
Rai sat herself down on the grey sand of the shore before Bull followed suit.  
She stared out at the waves that lapped at the Storm Coast’s shore line.

“I went to Par Vollen once. When I was eight.”  
Bull stared at her, eye’s wide with curiosity but knew not to speak. His training had taught him that much. She would speak on her own accord.  
“With my brother. He had a friend who was a Qunari.” Rai crossed her legs and bent forward to stick her index finger in the sand, “He was asked by my mother to deliver a package to a merchant there, but he also took the opportunity to see his friend.” She dragged her finger through the sand, creating swirling patterns.

The warrior listened intently, his arms resting on his crossed legs. His green eyes studying her features as she spoke her mind.  
Obsidian coloured-scruffy-cut short hair, pale damp skin that contrasted against deep blue eyes and a single scar that ran diagonally across her left cheek and various criss-crossing scars down the sides of her arms and the back of her calves. She was defiantly no noble-wall-flower like he had expected the only daughter of the Trevelyan household to be. 

“My brother was a mage. He was the first mage in my family for the last 3 generations. I loved him, admired him, looked up to him—“ Rai began to trail off, her finger halting it’s motions and just staying stuck in the sand.  
“He,” the rogue’s finger continued its motion of swirling in the sand, “He brought me along with him on the boat, he said he wanted to show me the whole of Thedas. He believed knowledge was best gained from travelling.” A small smile made its way on her face, “when we got to Seheron, we met with his friend. He was nice. He greeted me and was so happy to finally meet me, he told me my brother always wrote about me in his letters to him.” 

Bull smiled, glad she was finally opening up to him a little. Even if he still had no idea what made her feel so closed off from him.

“While we were busy talking with him, another Qunari walked up to us. He was big, huge actually.” Her bottom lip quivered, “He started talking with my brother and then my brother’s friend started to argue and it turned into a physical fight.”  
The hand that had been drawing swirls in the sand, clawed at it now. The tiny sand granules cutting into her skin.  
“It ended with a knife in my brother’s stomach.” Her body shook, the images replaying in her mind over and over again. “There was so much blood. I remember screaming his name and seeing the Qunari that killed him look at me, his eyes were—“Rai swallowed hard, a lump had formed in her throat, “Wild.”

The Qunari that sat next to her gawked at her in sympathy. “I—I’m so sorry.” He whispered, his voice was warm and comforting to hear.  
“I remember kneeling down, crying, I was so scared. The blood was pooling and coming towards me.” She clutched her hand to her chest, her right hand covered in the grey sand.  
“They put me back on the boat and sent my brother’s friend with me with a letter.”

Bull raised his brow, “A letter? To say what? _‘Oh sorry we killed your son.’_?” Sarcasm was thick in his voice.

Rai winced, “I- I don’t know what was in that letter. All I know is that there was never any retaliation from my family against the Qunari.” She sniffed, realising her face was now wet from tears and not the sea spray.

“I see.” Bull hummed, “and I understand why you were so cold towards me.”

Rai jerked her head up, her eyes still wet, “Iron Bull, I’m sorry I was! I just—“  
His large hand on her shoulder made her cut her sentence short, a small smile played on his scared lips. “I understand, Boss.” Her body shook, her mind wanting to accept and reject his comforting touch at the same time. “Iron Bull,” she whispered, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I should’ve never been so hostile towards you. It was wrong, _I_ was wrong. I’ve been judging all Qunari the same because of one of their actions. I’m so _so_ sorry.” Rai relaxed into his touch, finding herself beginning to trust the Qunari that sat beside her. She had been racist, growing up among nobility didn’t help that much either with nobles constantly calling Qunari _oxmen_ and Elves _Knife-ears_. She had loathed it when they called them such demeaning names but she now realized how badly it had all influenced her. “Thank you for this, Iron Bull.” 

The warrior beamed, “Please, Boss, call me Bull.” He got to his feet again before holding a hand out to her again to help her up, “You needed a distraction and to get stuff off your chest.”

Rai nodded, grasping his hand to be helped up. “Yes, I did. Thank you.” 

“Come on, let’s go back to the camp so we can get some rest.” Bull helped dust the sand off her before leading her back to the cliff-top camp.  
No more unease. No more gut twisting feeling.

She had learnt to trust him. She doubted she would get over her resentment towards the man who took her hero away but Bull?

Bull was alright.

As were all Qunari in her eyes now.


	2. Breach Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai has too many things to ponder and worry about but Bull's there to help.
> 
> also there's Roast Nug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A super short chapter, kinda a filler chapter. Next chapters will be longer, I'm sorry~

Iron Bull was strange.

No, strange wasn’t the right word. He was- peculiar, interesting and different. He was large, much larger than her and was loud and at times unruly. But, he had a softness about him. He had learnt to be soft spoken when only he and Rai were together, not that his loudness frightened her but it was more to show her how he wasn’t just a beast of a Qunari.

Rai drummed her fingers of her right hand on her chin, sitting on a log-hunched over, staring out over the frozen lake that reflected the green hues of the breach over-head.  
She peered back over her shoulder to the tent where Iron Bull stood talking to Krem. His guttural laugh echoing through Haven.

He really was interesting to her. Despite her fear of the horned beasts that were Qunari, she had found herself opening up more and more to him. 

Leaning her head in her right hand she analysed him, from horns to foot-brace. His skin was a pale grey and his shoulders were covered in black markings, tattoos or vitaar- she couldn’t quite tell from this distance. She caught herself gawking just a little too long at his broad chest for her liking, and she quickly turned her gaze back to the swirling sky above her.

_Maker_. They expected her to close that?

The sun had set and fires around Haven lit the sky along with the breach.  
Rai still sat on her log, lost in thought over everything that needed to be done. All the decisions that had to be made.

Who to choose, who to _choose_? Mages or Templars? Templars or Mages? Mages or—

“Hey Boss.”  
A friendly gruff voice called out behind her.

“Bull.” She greeted, happy that someone stopped her train of thoughts and worries. “What brings you here?”

The Qunari sat down next to her, leaning forward with his left hand braced on his knee, “Well, you’ve been sitting here for hours now just staring up at that bloody hole in the sky as if you thought you could stare it right out of the damned sky.” He looked up, grunting at the sight of the thing. “So—I thought I’d come over and just tell you staring at it won’t make it go away.”

Rai looked down at her right hand, the mark glowing faintly of the same hues of green as the breach.

“But that can.” Bull smirked, nudging her side.

The rogue smiled faintly, she lifted her gaze to stare out across the frozen lake. There was so much to do. So many expectations of her and this mark she was blessed by the maker with. How—

“Hey, boss?”

“Hm?” She whipped her head up, shaking herself from the thoughts again.

“You’ve got a lot on your mind, don’t you?” Bull sat up straight, his eyes not leaving hers.

She stared at him for a second longer before closing her eyes with a sigh. “Yeah.”  
Rai had many things on her mind. Thoughts of how her companions viewed her: how the Inquisition viewed her and their expectations. She fretted over if she could actually even meet those expectations. 

She didn’t want to be a let-down. Nor could she afford to be one.

Then there was the big choice of who to approach for help to close the breach. Cullen insisted on the Templars due to their loyalty and how unpredictable the Mages were. But Cassandra and Lelianna pushed for the Mages alliance with the Inquisition.  
She didn’t know who to listen to.

A large hand on the small of her back brought her out of her trance. “I—sorry I keep spacing out on you like that.” The rogue bit her lip and scratched at her head, “I just—I have so much—there’s just—“ Rai let out a frustrated sigh, infuriated with herself that she had suddenly forgotten how to use words to form sentences.

Bull’s large hand that rested on her back move up to her left shoulder, giving a soft squeeze. “People are counting on you and you just don’t want to disappoint them. Am I right?”

She stared up at him.

How’d he know? Maybe it was obvious.  
Perhaps her distress showed on her face, maybe even in her actions. Or perhaps that Ben-Hassrath training was just too good.

“I—Yeah. That’s- that’s exactly it.” She let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding and relaxed her muscles at the soft squeezing of her shoulder by his hand.

“I see.” Bull hummed, ceasing his hand’s motion- much to Rai’s disappointment- “I think you’ll do just fine, Boss.” He smiled down at her hunched over form.

Rai looked up to his face, noticing how his eyes were almost the same colour as the breach that swirled above and behind his horns.

_‘Breach green, huh?’_

The corners of her mouth twitched into a small smile, she wasn’t sure if it was from his comment or from her musings.

“Thanks, Bull.” She brushed her black-scruffy hair back behind her left ear, the small smile still on her lips. 

The horned man stood up, turning to face the direction from whence he came. Glancing down at her, still sitting on the log, he held out his left hand, “You haven’t eaten yet. Come, they’re making roast nug and they’ve got some fancy Orleasian jelly-jam stuff to put on it. I’m not missing out on trying new stuff when it comes to food and I wouldn’t want my Boss to go hungry.” Bull smirked, grabbing her left hand that still hovered by her ear and yanked her up to her feet. 

She gasped softly after being yanked to her feet so suddenly and then being pulled behind the mercenary chief to the pit fire that burned within Haven’s walls.  
\----

The inner circle sat around the fire pit.  
Vivienne sat on her cushioned wooden stool next to Cassandra. The seeker had Varric sitting on her left rambling away about his latest novel to her and constantly reminding her how she had been too harsh on the Herald when she first woke up.

Solas sat next to the dwarf but was blissfully immersed in the fade and completely unaware of Sera, who was plotting her next pranks to pull on him, sitting right next to him to his left.  
Blackwall sat discussing the Grey Wardens to Lelianna, while Cullen and Josephine had already began discussing tomorrows plans with great enthusiasm.

Meanwhile Rai sat with Vivienne to her Left and Bull to her right, watching everything playout in front of her.  
\--

Bull thrust a tankard into the air, laughing hard at Varric’s tales of the past. Rai quickly moved her right foot to avoid the downpour of ale that had spilled from the tankard.  
She wiped the corner of her mouth with the back of her right hand, removing the traces of sweet cranberry jelly from her mouth. _Maker_ , she hadn’t eaten that well since back in Ostwick.

Swiftly, she took the tankard from the Qunari next to her and sipped at the remaining ale. Hissing at the taste she handed it back.

“Thought you didn’t drink.” Bull teased, elbowing her in the side.

Although he didn’t nudge her hard, she couldn’t help but sway to the side when he did, “I don’t but I was desperate for something.” The rogue coughed a little, the fizz of the ale still at the back of her throat.

Bull nodded, chuckling softly at her. 

Most of those that were around the fire pit had retired to their quarters for the night, and Rai thought she had better do the same.

Tomorrow would be a big day. A day’s travel to the Hinterlands and another day’s travel on foot to Red Cliff to discuss a possible alliance with the Mages. It wasn’t a final decision but she needed to see what they could offer in place of the Templars who had already approached them. 

Rai covered her mouth to yawn. She stood up and dusted herself off from the dirt on the wooden bench they sat on.

“Good night everyone,” She smiled wearily, “Cassandra, are you still alright with accompanying me to Redcliff?” 

The seeker nodded, “Yes and I shall make sure Lady Vivienne is ready for when we leave.”

Rai then turned to Bull who still sat on the bench, “and you better not drink too much. I don’t need you hungover on the trek to the Hinterlands.” She commanded sternly, but a playful tease could be heard in her tone too.

Bull scoffed, “Yea, Boss. Don’t you worry about ol’ Iron Bull, I’ll be ready for tomorrow.” He snickered, “Now go to bed, we can see you’re tired.”

She was about to protest the tease she heard in his voice but found that she was too tired to shoot back a snarky comment and simply settled on “yeah, good night.” And a wave as she walked to her quarters.  
\---

Lying in bed, she thought about all that happened that day. 

_‘He has green eyes or eye, i should say.’ she mused to herself, a small smile creeping its way onto her lips, ‘His eyes are green. They look like the breach—I- I never thought he’d have_ green _eyes.’_

The small smile grew large.  
She turned over onto her side and closed her eyes.


End file.
